


you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note

by veel



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Actually Yes I Can, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Anxious Racetrack Higgins, Badass Sarah Jacobs (Newsies), F/F, F/M, Hurt Racetrack Higgins, I mean who wouldn't be, Italian Racetrack Higgins, Jack Kelly Being an Idiot, Jewish David Jacobs, Let Crutchie Say Fuck, M/M, Mom Friend David Jacobs, Trans Racetrack Higgins, albert gave up a while ago, also yeah i like sprace who knew, elmer and jojo are sunshine boys but oblivious, i cant fucking believe i wrote another one, im not even sorry anymore, jack's just being a dumbass, oh no not another newsies fic, oh right forgot to mention, oh shit i should probably mention, race is just over it, race is just t i r e d of his family, sarah and davey and crutchie are trying their best, this was a mistake, whoops, yall know what you got yourselves into, you can pry trans racetrack autistic davey and trans katherine out of my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veel/pseuds/veel
Summary: Exchanging desperate glances. Quick kisses in the moonlight. Sharing milkshakes in the comfort of the basement.There wasn't much that made Racetrack genuinely smile anymore. Not after the hell that was middle school and elementary. His friends and family, however, were determined to make his freshman year of high school better. Maybe even with the edition of someone new.
Relationships: Crutchie & Racetrack Higgins, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly, Racetrack Higgins & Romeo (Newsies), Racetrack Higgins & Sarah Jacobs, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. a horrible introduction to a horrible story or alternatively: ralbert friendship and 2/3 siblings talking to race about bro stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// BULLYING, HOMOPHOBIC SLURS, VIOLENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, this is getting out of control i need to finish one of my chaptered fics before starting a new one i-
> 
> unfortunately, there are several triggers which you probably already expected if you've read literally anything else ive written-
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoy!!

Antonio Giuseppe "Racetrack" Higgins was no stranger to disappointment and pain. He considered them old friends, actually. They stuck with him all throughout elementary school. From kindergarten to fourth grade, they were his only friends. And for a while, he was okay with it.

In middle school, however, things changed. The rude glares turned into harsh words. Those harsh words turned into a bloody nose every other day. The bloody nose every other day quickly spiraled into Racetrack nearly being beaten to death every. Single. Week.

Sure, he could see some people take pity on him. But no one ever stuck up for him. No one ever helped him up. No one ever told the teachers. No one ever yelled at the bullies. They only stared with wide eyes. Well, until Albert DaSilva moved to town.

Albert Schafer "Red" DaSilva moved to New York when Race was in seventh grade. He was born in America, but moved back to Germany when he was nine. He knew both English and German, and apparently had a bigger dick than literally every other kid in Race's entire school.

_"The hell're you doin'?" Albert shouted, looking at Race. Race was on the ground of an alleyway, blood pouring from his nose. He still had a black eye from the week prior, and his lip was split. He looked up at Albert in obvious surprise. He would've tried to stand up and hug Albert if his arm wasn't burning. He tried to put his weight on his arm to help him get up, but winced and fell to the ground instead._

_"Showin' everyone what happens to queers." The boy sneered at Albert. He glowered at Race's attempt to stand up and kicked him in the stomach again. Race wheezed and curled in on himself. "Now back up or you'll end up like him."_

_"You really think you can take 'im, Oscar?" Race asked jokingly, glaring up at Oscar. Oscar scowled. He turned to Morris, who stood next to him. He whispered something in his ear, and Morris nodded. Albert continued to glare at Oscar._

_Race was used to the Delanceys beating him up. They did it almost everyday. Behind the bleachers, in the bathrooms, in the cafeteria, in the hallway, outside the school, etc. ect. What he wasn't used to, though, was the appearance of Albert._

_Morris stepped closer and kicked Race in the face. Race's head jerked back and he fell down, realizing that his nose was probably broken again. He huffed in defeat and lay limp on the ground, feeling numb as Morris kicked his side again._

_Albert, who had previously been standing on the side staring at Race with a dumbstruck look on his face, lunged at Oscar. Oscar yelped loudly, falling backward. Albert straddled him and hit him in the face repeatedly. Oscar's cries went unnoticed by Race, but not to Morris. He kicked Race once more before jumping at Albert._

_Albert barely acknowledged Morris hitting his back. He was often blinded by rage and consumed by pure adrenaline, and he paid no mind to the things other than his target. His target in that moment was Oscar._

_"You leave him alone, or I'll make sure you'll never be able to hurt him again," he threatened in a low voice. Oscar's eye was swollen and his nose almost looked as bad as Race's. He nodded frantically. Albert pursed his lips and shoved Morris off of him before getting off of Oscar._

Race arose at seven in the morning on a Saturday. He liked to sleep in, but his shitty sleep schedule didn't allow for it. It wasn't like he'd get out of bed immediately, though. He didn't have enough motivation. 

One of Race's biggest struggles in daily life was finding motivation to do the simple things. Such as getting out of bed in the morning. Taking a shower. Getting dressed. Eating or drinking. He felt as if he was drowing in his feelings, and his only lifeline was his family.

He was so happy he family understood and took the time to listen to him. He knew some family's, at least Jack's old one, weren't like his. 

Medda Larkin was his foster mother, and and was good at giving advice. She was always able to tell when Race was feeling upset, and took the time to talk to him. It was truly unfortunate people were so ignorant about what Medda was like just because of her skin color.

Jack Kelly was his oldest foster brother, at the age of seventeen. He was good at listening. Whether it was Race complaining about school, a rant about how his classmates were assholes, or even something as simple as Race's favorite animal. Jack always listened the entire way through.

Crutchie Morris was his second foster brother, at the age of fifteen. Crutchie was amazing at protecting Race when he was able to. Whether it be from the awful truth, or the shitty teachers, or even the Delanceys, Crutchie was always in Race's corner. That alone helped Race live as long as he did.

Romeo was only a couple years younger than Race at age twelve. He was great at providing distractions. Sure, Race didn't always need distractions, but Romeo was there to help when he did. And Race was glad for that.

And so, Race shoved a pillow over his head to hopefully block out the sunlight pouring in his window.

_The brothers shared a scared glance before running out of the alley (but not before shouting a threat at both Albert and Race). Albert breathed heavily after wiping a drop of sweat off his forehead. He chuckled to himself as he shook his head. He couldn't believe he was able to scare the Delanceys off._

_A cough from his left reminded him that Race was still there. His eyes widened and he rushed over to the small blond. He looked much meeker when he was curled into a ball on the ground. Albert knelt down next to him, gently moving the hair out of Race's eyes as his blue eyes stared back at Albert. He was very visibly still scared, but was hurt too badly to move away._

_"Do whatever you want to me already, no use in waitin'." Race's slight smile was clearly trying to hide the fear and sadness he was feeling. Albert's heart broke._

_""m not gonna hurt you," he said, barely over a whisper. Race looked unconvinced and was clearly tensed up. Albert bit down on his bottom lip. "Can I...can I touch you?" Race thought for a moment. He nodded carefully, distrustful of Albert. Albert hesitantly placed a hand on Race's arm. The blond recoiled at first, but eventually got a tiny bit more comfortable. "Can I pick y-"_

_"No," Race rejected loudly and quickly. He moved back about an inch before grimacing. He collapsed with a groan. Albert saw tears prick in his eyes. "No," he repeated softer. Albert nodded. He stood up, Race's eye following him the entire way up._

_"Will you please tell me your name?" Albert asked, gingerly stepping closer to Race. He knelt down again. Race continued to stare, not answering. Albert mentally groaned. "My name's Albert DaSilva." He offered a smile. Race didn't return it._

_"I don't trust you," he said bluntly. Albert's smile faded, leaving an indifferent look on his face. Race noticed that. "But I'm Antonio. Most people call me Racetrack, though." Albert nodded._

_"Will you tell me you last name." Race's eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously. Albert sighed quietly. "Well, alright. Will you tell me a bit about yourself, Racetrack?" Race's eye lit up a bit._

_"I, um, I'm thirteen. My favorite show is, eh, 'Gunsmoke'." He smiled fondly. "I really like western shows. They're so c-" He cut himself off with a cough. His eyes squeezed shut as he fell into a coughing fit next to Albert. It took about thirty seconds for him to stop coughing, and tears threatened to spill out of his eyes._

_"Race, I really need you to tell me your last name."_

_"No!" Race shouted. Albert frowned._

_"Then I'll pick you up," he threatened. Of course he wouldn't go through with it, but he needed Race to tell him. And Race was clearly scared by that._

_"Higgins," he blurted out. Albert's eyes widened._

_"You're Charlie's adopted brother, aren't you?" Race's eyes widened, but this time filled with fear. He tried to scramble backward, but collapsed again. He took a deep breath before forcing himself to stand up. He leaned against the wall, trying to display fearlessness but coming off as clumsy._

_"You're one o' those kids that make fun of 'im, ain't'cha?" He asked threateningly. Albert shook his head quickly._

_"No, he's my f-"_

_Race cut him off by lunging at him. Albert caught him with ease. Race thrashed in Albert's grip, but Albert didn't let go of him._

_"Let me go!" Race screamed, tears falling from his eyes._

_"I'm sorry." Albert picked Race up and slung him over his shoulder. Race kicked and thrashed and screamed, and Albert wondered what had happened to make Race so scared. He felt horrible, but he needed to get Race somewhere else._

Surprisingly, Race had been able to fall back asleep. This time, though, he woke up to Jack jumping onto his bed. Not so surprisingly though, Jack had landed on Race's feet.

Race shriek and kicked Jack in the stomach. Jack frowned and tossed Race's blanket aside before grabbing ahold of Race's feet. Race tried to get out of Jack's grip, but wasn't able to.

Jack look at Race with a goofy grin and a mischevious gleam in his eyes. Race only slightly smiled back, the once lively eyes turned to dull ones. Jack sighed and his face fell.

"Ma made you some scrambled eggs, d'you wanna come down to get it?" He asked, sensing Race was having another bad day, and Medda explained it to Romeo. Race only sighed and shook his head.

"'m not hungry right now, Jackie boy." Jack frowned. "I'll eat it later," he assured his older brother. Jack shook his head and looked down. He shook Race's right foot. 

"'m worried about'cha, Racer. You've hardly eaten since Tuesday." Race nodded, but the indifferent expression on his face showed he didn't know how to respond.

"Jack." Race moved himself so he was sitting next to his brother before taking his hand. "You don't gotta be worried, 'm f-"

"Racer, 'm your _brother_. It's my _job_ to be worried."

"'m fine. Re-"

"Clearly you ain't," Jack snapped, pulling his hand away from Race. "You don't talk to me anymore. You don't play with Ro anymore. You don't wanna do anythin'. T-"

"Listen to me, 'm f-"

"No. _You_ listen to _me_. Tell me; how much weight have you lost since the beginning of the month?" Jack paused, clearly wanting an answer. Race frowned, his eyes burning.

"Twelve pounds, but-"

"See! You're skin an' bones! You wasn't lookin' to healthy when you first came 'ere, an' the last thing you needed was to lose weight. An' I know somethin' went on at school last year. An' I know you an' Crutchie an' Albert have been keepin' somethin' secret from the rest of us. J-"

"Stop it, Jack." Both boys turned to look at the door. Crutchie stood there, his eyebrows furrowed. He looked from Race's tears that were slowly falling to Jack's angry but remorseful expression. Once he had their attention, Crutchie cleared his throat. "Mom wants to see you downstairs." The last comment was directed at Jack. The brunet huffed and stood up. He gave Race a sad glance before leaving the room.

Once Jack was gone, Crutchie came inside. He hobbled over to the bed carefully before taking a seat at the edge. Race moved to sit next to him.

"I heard him yellin' at you," he said simply. "An' I know you can't help it." He turned to look over at Race. "We're here for you if you need us." He bit his lip before handing Race a water bottle. "Drink it. Stay hydrated." Race nodded. Crutchie leaned against his crutch before hobbling out of the room again. "Oh, and Racer?" He turned around. 

"Hm?"

"Jack didn't mean any harm. He loves you, he's just tryin' to look out for you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I love you too," He said back with a soft smile. After Crutchie left, Race took a sip of his water and sighed. If only he knew what were to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY THERE'S A LOT MORE COMIN NEXT CHAPTER WOAH
> 
> once again i am asking for you to leave comments,, they make my fuckin DAY my guys,, also i would like to know what to do to improve this!! please and thank you!!
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoyed. have a nice day/night!!


	2. jack is an idiot but he still tries his best, even though davey disapproves of literally every choice jack made in this chapter even though there were few choices made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> race isnt binding correctly but i do not know if that's a trigger but if it is
> 
> TW// MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE, BLOOD, UNHEALTHY BINDING, SMOKING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all it's a bit short but i tried

Francis Jack "Cowboy" Kelly was an amazing older brother despite what anyone thought of him. He was protective, sure, and maybe a bit overbearing at times. But he had a good heart, and good intentions. Sure, he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but he knew enough to at least keep him alive.

Jack was fifteen when he met David and Sarah Jacobs. David was two years younger than him but had skipped a grade, and Sarah was a year older than him. He had instantly fallen in love with both of them because, as everyone knows, he is a disaster bisexual. And he was getting over Katherine but we'll get into that later.

He was thirteen when he was adopted by Medda. He'd been living with her as a foster child since he was eleven, and they bonded immediately. She had been much nicer than anyone he'd ever lived with, and it was clear that Medda adored Jack as well. It was a natural fit, especially since she adopted Crutchie the same year.

When Jack turned sixteen, things had gotten bad. Sure, Romeo had just been taken in, and Davey got a cat, but things did get a lot worse than he ever would've expected.

_"I'll get it!" Jack had yelled after hearing the doorbell ring. Medda had taken Romeo to a soccor game, so it was only Jack and Crutchie in the house. There wasn't any point in yelling but it was out of habit. That didn't stop Crutchie from coming downstairs, though._

_When Jack opened the door, he had a natural smile that Medda told him to always have. When he saw what was behind the door, his face dropped and his heart sunk. He froze, and Crutchie was the one to take action._

_"Shit," he muttered as he hobbled over to the door. "Get him inside."  
_

_What Jack saw was his little brother kicking and screaming while being thrown over someone's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His face was bloody and dirty. The only clean places were because the tears had cleaned it up. His heart shattered into a million tiny pieces._

_The boy carrying Race rushed inside after Crutchie. Jack left the door open when he went to follow Crutchie. His mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour, and he was unable to form a sentence._

_"Set 'im on the table," Crutchie ordered. He had put a bloody (was all of that blood Race's?) tablecloth over it to protect it. The boy did as told and set Race down. "Al, go get the scissors. They're in their usual place." Albert (had he been in the house before?) handed Crutchie the scissors. "Tell me what happened." Jack stared at the two of them, Race had passed out, in confusion. It didn't seem to stop either of them._

_"Well I found out who's been doin' this to 'im. Oscar and Morris Delancey." Crutchie cut up the front of Race's shirt and took it off (Had Crutchie done this before?), revealing the bandages at the top part of his chest. "They were beatin' up in the alley next to Macy's. I got 'em off though."_

_Crutchie nodded along, but paused a moment. "Al, could'ya look away a minute?" Albert nodded and turned around. Crutchie cut the bandages off. Jack turned away as well, knowing it was an invasion of Race's privacy. He heard Crutchie sigh. "Jack, I thought I told you to remind him to change his bandages everyday. They're the same ones from last week!"_

_"I told 'im!" Jack argued, frowning. Albert shifted uncomfortably. Crutchie groaned._

_"I can't believe this kid," he grumbled._

Jack stood outside the house, smoking a cigarette. Smoking was most certainly not his most healthy coping mechanism, but it was the most convenient. He usually went outside for a smoke after an argument with Race. Those happened a lot, actually. Jack wasn't sure when Race had gotten so easy to argue with.

His head was leaning back against the brick building as he blew out a puff of smoke. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, or if Race was still angry, but he knew that the Jacobs siblings were due to arrive any minute. And he was right.

The first person he saw was Les running towards him. Jack smiled as Les threw himself at him. Jack stumbled back a bit, but twirled Les around before putting him down. Sarah greeted him with a chaste kiss on the cheek and a smile. Davey greeted him with a small wave.

"Hey," Jack whispered quietly so only Davey could hear him. Davey giggled and smiled softly at Jack.

"Hi." Over the course of a few months, Davey and Jack grew to be inseperable. They played off each other well, and weren't complete opposites but they were different from each other. They were a nice combination. Every had said so. Jack even said it underneath the stars on a nice Wednesday night before the sound of crickets was replaced by-

~~I'm getting sidetracked, and I'll leave that last sentence up to the imagination.~~

"You guys can come in." Jack offers his signiture grin, and Sarah returns it immediately. The four of them walked back inside, but not before Jack stomped out his cigarette.

_Race awoke with a jolt. He sat upright before gasping sharply. Jack, who had been sitting next to him, grabbed Race's hand and gently rubbed circles into it. Race look at Jack with terrified eyes. He hesitantly lay back down, wincing ever so slightly at every movement he made._

_"It's okay bud, you're safe." Race calmed down a bit and gave Jack a sad smile. Race only pursed his lips. "You wanna tell me what happened?"_

_"I tripped," he lied. Jack frowned. Why couldn't his little brother tell him the truth?_

_"I know that ain't true. I watched Crutchie patch you up. I heard Albert talkin'. Why do the Delancey brothers pick on you?" He asked. Race frowned and pulled his hand away from Jack's. Jack knew Race wanted to turn around. But he also knew that Race would hurt himself if he did so. "Will you at least tell me why you haven't changed your bandages?"_

_"Leave me alone."  
_

_"Racer, you're hurt and I want to know why. I'm your brother for cryin' out loud!" Jack took Race's hand again and squeezed it. Race narrowed his eye and scowled._

_"You aren't my real brother."_

Jack was the last inside, almost slamming the door behind him. Davey jumped a bit at the soft noise. Davey was sensitive to noise, but it seemed Jack always sort of forgot. 

Sarah upon coming in immediately draped herself over the couch. She was used to coming to the Larkin-Kelly-Morris home since she was Race's best friend, and Davey like to come over with her. Les and Romeo were also friends, so she brought Les over for playdates a lot.

Les plopped down on the floor and leaned against the wall. He sat with his legs crossed ("Criss-cross applesauce!"). Jack wasn't sure why he preferred to sit on the ground, but he didn't exactly mind.

Davey, instead of sitting down, leaned against Jack. He intertwined their fingers. The boys both knew that no one in either of their families (excluding Esther and Mayer, they weren't as accepting) minded having non-cishet children. Davey was quietly out to people he trusted, and the Delanceys didn't seem to know.

Jack and Sarah were both out, proud, and loud about it. Jack was out as bisexual but people seemed to forget since he had dated Katherine. Sarah was out as a lesbian, but people seemed to leave her alone because she could and would kill someone. Her parents had almost disowned her.

The difference between Medda and Davey's parents was that Mayer and Esther had specific views on what was "right" and what was "wrong". 

Homosexuality was wrong. Transgender people were just confused. Neurodivergent people were sick. Mental illnesses were just phases. 

Medda, however, was much more laid back. She didn't really care about things that didn't affect her, her family, or her friends. She was trying to live her best life.

That being said, the two families got along quite well. Though, things would probably be different if they knew that Jack was bisexual.

"Why are we here, anyway?" Sarah asked. Les turned to Jack with innocent eyes.

"I kinda need to cheer Race up? I dunno, he's been pretty bad lately and I want 'im to know I care." Jack shrugged and looked down. Davey smiled softly and squeezed Jack's hand. "I was kinda hopin' Saz could go talk to 'im." 

Sarah nodded, and stood up. "Guess I'll do that." She smiled before taking off to go up the stairs. Jack smiled as well and squeezed Davey's hand back.

_"Jackie, why'd'ya run off?" Jack sat on the ground outside, smoking a cigarette. Crutchie had followed him about ten minutes after Jack had left._

_"He said 'm not 'is brother." He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. He'd been crying ever since he'd gotten out of the house, nearly breaking down in front of Racetrack. He needed to be strong. To not make his brother feel worse._

_Crutchie sat down next to Jack and hummed. "He doesn't mean it. He's just upset. Give him ti-"_

_"I just wanna know what happened to 'im. Why he don't tell me nothin'. Why he feels the need to keep everythin' to himself," Jack snapped angrily. Crutchie flinched. Jack's expression softened. "'m sorry, ''m sorry. I shouln't'a yelled at'cha." He knew about Crutchie's past with his parents and how they used to treat him, so Jack felt even worse about snapping like that. "I just wanna make sure he's okay."_

_"He'll be okay, eventually. He needs space. He'll talk to you when he's ready." Jack nodded and sighed. He put his cigarette out and stood up. He then helped Crutchie up before the two went inside the house._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay seriously if you ever have an idea for how i can improve this story then please tell me sdjksdf


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